Hogan Gorman made her acting debut at the tender age of seven, portraying Mary in her uptight Catholic grade school’s Christmas show. She was convinced she had the lead even though Mary had no lines, her philosophy being if there was no Mary there would be no Jesus, and she refused to be upstaged by a plastic doll and three not-so-Wise Men bringing pointless gifts. Over time her parts grew to fairy #1 and Snowflake #2, and by the eighth grade she was cast as Madam Dubonnet in The Boyfriend. Even though she couldn’t sing to save her life she won the part because she was the only tweenie tall enough (at 5′10″) to play the mistress of the school. Her memorization skills were so good that she not only knew her own lines, but the lines of all the other actors, which she proceeded to mouth silently when they spoke. It appeared she was not only an actor but a ventriloquist as well.

At the age of fourteen Hogan decided that being 5′10″ and towering over all her classmates and teachers wasn’t that bad because modeling beats the hell out of a paper route and babysitting. Modeling took Hogan all over Europe, and as far as Japan. She eventually ended up in New York and decided to leave the modeling behind and get a real dependable job, so she became an actress ('cuz she’s practical like that). In other words she waited tables, and by the way, if you ever stiffed her on a tip or were a pain in the ass when she waited on you . . . she does remember.

Okay . . . I can’t write about myself in the third person anymore. Long story short: in 2004 I was walking to my waitressing job and was hit by a car going forty miles per hour. I should probably mention that I didn’t have health insurance. Once I recovered I wrote a one woman show called “Hot Cripple” about the experience for which I won the Outstanding Actor Award at the NYC Fringe Festival, and now I’ve turned it into a book. If you would like to know more about me read the “friggin” book, or come see the show. (Or both!)